***For you my love ! I would be strong & endure all pain***
My check-up is due soon on next friday... Today my lil one is 15 weeks and 1 day....I'm very excited but i cant be too excited you get what i mean?Pantang orang orang tua.... I'm beginning to understand the importance of pantang.In one way or another (true or not) its good to follow you know.. like not buying baby's clothes too early and stuff.Not staying out late at night ridding all over Singapore e.t.c..They say the first baby is the crucial one,80% of first-time mothers lose their first baby's because newly weds darah masih manis (thats what my mummy says).The only time i go home late is when i have classes on tuesdays,thursdays and fridays where i'll go home straight and would be back by 10.30 the latest.On other days no galivanting,no dating,no late night movies,no nothing.Home is where i stay and it is still the best and safest place.
I've haven't been feeling well this week.Emotionally and physically not well ... Emotionally is because of the work issues and being angry with hubby because he is always back late(due to working full shift 4 days in a week) while im already snoring and i don't have anyone to talk to.. Its so depressing to supress all the feelings of anger in myself.I cried and cried before i go to sleep.I keep asking myself what wrong have i done?Why is the management doing this to me,Its so depressing.I've decided to go to my principal's office on tuesday and talk to her again about this... I cant take it ..always keeping mum and people are exploiting me.Its not as if my pay was so much it is meagre and now they are giving me all this crap.I don't deserve this ok and baby(my baby's innocent) also don't deserve to be part of the the increment issues.
Physical part is at night im having my stomach cramping pain again and it has been going on continous for 1 week ..I just force myself to sleep ... I try to endure with the pain...with hubby not around to massage my tummy...i didnt tell anyone at home not until thurs i told hubby because i was crying silently as the pain was unbearable and he heard my crying and asked me why...I don't know whether is all this normal?Is it? Am i supposed to get cramps on my tummy?
Im supposed to go for the check-up on next saturday but due to the pain,therefore on Monday im going (which is a holiday because its Youth day). I would be going to Jurong Polyclinic for my 4mths check-up.I really hope you are okay baby!!!!
Please GOD protect my baby from harm and blessed me with a healthy baby... I'm so afraid ...I hope baby is okay...
